M— BEDROOM: SO WHAT DO WE CALL IT NOW?
Design rendering for a CAB Architects project under construction in Toronto, ON.
The speed at which the room name master bedroom has been dropped has been stunning. Starting in August of 2020 we began to see “primary bedroom” and “principal bedroom” pop up in emails inquiring of our architectural services. By March 2021, any mention of adding on for a new “master bedroom” completely ceased. We are now in the final construction stages of those last projects where the term was used. It seems like the end of a room labelling era. How did we get here and what is the most appropriate name for this most special of bedrooms?
Although questions about the appropriateness of master bedroom have arisen before in recent years, we have now reached a watershed moment. The timing, of course, makes sense. The summer of 2020 was filled with Black Lives Matter protests and a renewed call to consciousness on matters race related. People have become very sensitive to words that remind us of our troubled cultural past—particularly those that regard race and gender. Some reflection on these linguistic matters is undoubtedly worthwhile, but, as linguist and New York Times contributorJohn McWhorter pointedly asks, is your master bedroom racist?
The first recorded instance of “master’s bedroom” was for this Dutch Colonial house kit from Sears, Roebuck, and Co. in 1926.
A QUICK ETYMOLOGY
Your conscience should be at ease. The term master bedroom did not originate in the disgrace of the Atlantic slave trade or on southern plantations. In fact, it first appeared in the1926 Sears, Roebuck, and Co. Modern Homes catalog in reference to a handsome Dutch Colonial house kit. (Yes—you could once order an entire house from Sears!) Before then house plans did not typically differentiate bedrooms by name; they were simply called “bedroom” or “chamber.” It’s not clear exactly what inspired the catalog writer, and one is left to guess why master bedroom eventually rose to prominence. I believe it probably did so because it conjures the genteel notion of being “master of the house” (cue the song from Les Miserables!): an archaic form of today’s “head of household” with the added middle class aspiration of having domestic help. If one even thought to consider the etymology before, weren’t most of us imagining someone more along the lines of George Banks from Mary Poppins rather than Robert E. Lee?
It’s true that the word reflects an archaic gender distinction, which may trouble some, but for that purpose it had long ago spun off into “mister” and “madame.” The related word “mistress” is now used with such narrow meaning that to employ it as master’s feminine equivalent would seem oddly archaic. To underline the point, the TV sitcom Seinfeld clarified in 1992 that to be “master of your domain” is a completely gender-neutral affair, and we continue to use the term for both men and women. Of course, one could take exception to the class implications (master vs. servant), but this would seem disingenuous from most. Current cultural focus is more concerned with racial and gender matters as opposed to ending the persistence of domestic workers in our economy.
“Master” is an old word as far as English goes, coming from Latin roots, and it permeates our language in many places. It persists in the building trades without objection in titles like “master carpenter.” It even doubles as a verb: to “master” a skill, for example. For many of the design professionals on a construction project, it’s used to denote a degree of higher learning with nary a peep about social justice. But it’s true that the word was applied to more nefarious arenas in history, including the horrible institution of slavery in the Americas. As a consequence the word’s utterance in certain contexts can’t help but remind many of that, even if direct etymologies don’t connect it. So it seems, at no real fault of its own, the room designator master bedroom is now such an instance and edging towards retirement.
In the Seinfeld episode “The Contest,” we learned that to be “master of your domain” is an un-gendered proposition.
SO WHAT DO WE CALL IT NOW?
Now that master bedroom hits the ears a little too harshly for many, what, then, is the best substitute? “Owner’s bedroom” has been floated as a possible successor, but very quickly complications arise. For example, what if there are more than one owner, where does that pesky apostrophe go? And it doesn’t seem fair to needlessly remind a renter of their tenuous claim on a space.
Other languages offer us some ideas. “Parental Bedroom” is said in many countries, including Israel, but like owner, it isn’t quite inclusive enough. In Germany they say hauptschlafzimmer, which means “head bedroom.” I quite like the brevity and directness of this, but I seem alone in noting the potential crossover. Spanish and French provide us an alternative gaining a foothold: “principal.” It also denotes someone in charge, but without the cultural baggage. However, it’s a bit of a mouthful and feels oddly business-oriented for the most private of domains (in English at least).
Based on what we glean from realtors and clients, the apparent front runner is “primary bedroom.” It still provides an honest assessment of the room’s hierarchy, though couched in softer tones. But as appropriate of a substitute as it may be, it feels a bit forced. When a client prefers an alternate to master bedroom, we recommend the simpler “main bedroom.” There are a few advantages: firstly, it’s short and direct, as in the main floor of a building. And since it has the added benefit of starting with the letter “m” (like the former preferred term), it makes the transition a little easier, especially when shortened to M. Bedroom. Regarding the master bathroom, both primary and main admittedly fall short of capturing the exclusivity of that space. But perhaps Americans will follow Canadians in calling this room the “ensuite.”
REQUIEM FOR A ROOM NAME
For some the switch from master bedroom to something else will be an easy or even welcome change. For others it will take some getting used to, and many are sure to stick with the old term. That’s understandable. It’s hard to stop using familiar words, especially if you don’t see the need. To its credit, master bedroom did capture an aspirational tone that other options lack: whatever your circumstances, there was comfort in knowing that you could be master of your own home. But now, in many quarters, evolving sensibilities are calling for a new sentiment and a new name. Whichever one eventually prevails, consider the helpful perspective offered by linguist John McWhorter: language is strictly a spectator sport. At a certain point you must accept the results and keep the lamentations to yourself.
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written by Brian Hagood, architect on March 18, 2022
